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04:48pm 07/02/2008

that is not me. but that is what i did last night.
i went to the skyventure windtunnel in nashua, NH which is where skydivers and regular people alike go and either just mess around, or (mostly skydivers cause why would anyone else need to do this) practice their ~skillz~
the last time i went to the windtunnel i only had about 15 actual skydives under my belt and i guess i didn't really know that i wasn't arching as much as i should be because i couldn't get myself off the net in the tunnel. that's the one thing you'll hear repeated over and over as you're learning to skydive; ARCH! if you flip or do something else funky in the sky, as long as you arch you're back on your belly.
it's weird going from messing around in the sky to the tunnel because while you might think you're the bomb in the sky, you get to the tunnel and realize, you're really not that good. in the sky, you've got unlimited space to do whatever the hell you please. in the tunnel, there are walls. though that's pretty obvious, i still learned the hard way.
last night though, now with almost 50 skydives, i was so much better and didn't touch the net once! i was flying around, spinning, sliding back and forth.. it was so much fun and i can now join all my fellow jumptown skydivers in praising the wonderful thing that is the windtunnel!
i went with my dad who's learning how to control flying on his back, my friend eric who is doing the same thing as my dad, birdman rick who's practicing flying head down, and this other guy eric who was working on transitions from belly flying to back flying. we each got 12 minutes in the tunnel, at 2 minute intervals, and while 12 minutes doesn't seem like a lot, it really is. 12 minutes in the tunnel is the same as 12 skydives! i got out and my arms hurt from the wind pushing them, and my lower back was achey from arching.

the only bad thing about going to the tunnel last night was walking outside into the pouring rain and realizing there's still at least an entire month before i'll be able to jump out of an airplane again and feel that same thing, but somewhere open..
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01:31pm 14/12/2006
i hate marlborough high school.
none of us did anything wrong, not ana, or colleen, or anyone, and the fact that ANYONE would do something that immature really makes me sad. and mad. and a bunch of other things.

i thought it'd be cool, and that i could keep this thing public because who reads this anyway right? wrong.
from now on, it'll have to be friend only again.
not because i mind people seeing what i write, or the pictures i post or anything like that, but because it's fucking with school. not just for me, but for a few other people too who really don't deserve any of this.

so if the person who took my pictures and printed them and gave them to mr. gruber, i swear if i ever find out who you are i will personally break every bone in your pathetic body. seriously, there MUST be something more entertaining than messing with other people who really have done NOTHING wrong.

pretty much, that's it.
everything from now on will be friends only.
and really, that sucks. it sucks that i have to censor myself, and that other people do too.
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12:49am 09/12/2006

there's like a billion different thoughts running through my head all at once. some kinda make sense, some make me feel like a bad person and some are so random. i would write them down, but i don't know where to start.

tonight was semi, and i have some pictures i'll post when i'm not exhausted. i feel like i'm.... not sitting still..
fucking so weird. danced with the most random people. and wished i danced with some other people. i'm so retarded. kbye.
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04:13am 03/12/2006

my little gray baby mouse just gave me a kiss on the nose. and then she made a squeaky sound that sounded like a kissy sound, so i established that she loves me.

i'm drunk and i feel incredibly guilty. not so much for the very last part right outside my car, but for everything else that had to do with.. you know.

i've been up for 20 hours and that's sometimes wayy too much for me. yea i know /:
11:13pm 30/11/2006

sooooo! in an hour and 51 minutes it'll be december and there is not a HINT of snow on the ground in massachusetts. and i would very much like it to stay that way, thank you. i bet i jinxed it now.

sooo.. things are coming together. i'm pretty organized with everything, things are actually happening. and it feels gooooood. (:
there's not really much to say, but i feel good. about everything pretty much.
which is nice cause it doesn't happen often.

just wondering, who reads this thing? comment if you do, even if you don't have an account. just leave your name so i know..

more some other time.
♥ peace.
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08:25pm 26/11/2006

haha, so there are two people on my friends list on this thing, and i don't really talk to either of them, and they both posted entries recently, and i read the first one and i was like 'oh shit, wonder what happened, and who is she talking about?' and then the other one and i was like 'ohhhhhhh!!' and then i laughed. whatever, i thought it was funny.

but that's also about the only fun thing in my life right now.
i feel like a monster because of the decision i made. i hope you're alright and that you don't hate my guts, even when you say you definitely don't. i will still visit. and i do still love. my head's not right and i need to get it right.
"it's not you, it's me".
never ever thought i'd say that without joking.
and don't think for one second that this doesn't hurt me too. this isn't at all what i REALLY want. it's only what i feel like i need to do. sometimes people need to do things even though they don't wanna. like clean, or dishes, or something. not that i'm comparing this to petty things like those. i don't even know if you read this thing, though i think once you said you did.
aw man, now i'm sad again....... change the subject.

christmas is soon.
what's your all-time FAVORITE christmas song(s)?

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03:22pm 15/11/2006

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THAT is my new baby cousin.
born on the 13th.
i think he's the most beautiful baby i've ever seen.

good job kjartan & lisbeth! ♥
09:14pm 11/11/2006


i love sex ♥
02:29pm 24/10/2006
  i'm totally posting from my cell phone.  
09:12pm 22/10/2006

so, i've been extremely lazy and i haven't posted these pictures, which were taken like.. not even that long ago.. but people have been bugging me to send them and whatever, so i thought it'd be easier to post them all here and people can just steal them.

there's a few.Collapse )
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05:30pm 20/10/2006

it's raining and i'm getting cold just from listening to the rain /:

i wanna shower and then hang out with veronica when she's out of work.
and to pass time before i shower, i figured i'd do this thing...

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits: Aurora - Björk
Waking Up: Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
First Day At School: 2+2+5 - Radiohead
Falling In Love: I Like Fucking - Bikini Kill
Fight Song: We've had enough - Alkaline Trio
Breaking Up: Blow out - Radiohead & Portishead
Prom: American Jesus - Bad Religion
Life: On a slow night - Metric
Mental Breakdown: Angel - Massive Attack
Driving: Roads - Portishead
Flashback: Work It Remix - Missy Elliot
Getting Back Together: I fought the law - The Clash
Wedding: Day Job - The Fitness
Birth of Child: Creep - Radiohead
Final Battle: Passenger - Deftones
Death Scene: This Cocaine Makes Me Feel Like I'm On This Song - System of a Down
Funeral Song: Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden
End Credits: Bleed Like Me - Garbage

okay, that's kinda messed up /:

showering now.
then v.
then andy.
01:11am 08/10/2006

i got my nipples pierced today.
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08:45pm 02/10/2006

sometimes i wish i was still seeing anthony every tuesday..
not so much because i need help with depression, or anger management, or improving my confidence and self-image, or any of the things we worked on, but more because he was one of the few people i could talk to about anything without him passing any judgement on me.. with him being a therapist and all, that's a good trait.. i just miss him. he was funny, and quirky, and serious at the same time. he would relate to things.. a lot of people don't go to therapists or counselors because they don't wanna admit they need help.. i did, and it worked so much, and i'm a lot more positive and optimistic. and now, i don't even need help, and i still wanna go to a therapist.. weird stuff..

my dad just left for dallas today.. i wish i got to travel and get paid for it. bastard. just kidding..

i'm not gonna lie, i miss ana /:
07:07pm 30/09/2006

yea man. another drunken night in amherst (:
this time i took more pictures than usual. as in, more than zero.
..and here are some of themCollapse )
09:08pm 25/09/2006

so fuckingg.. stupid shit.
i don't know. best friends are difficult to have. especially if you're as stubborn as i am. in all my friendships i've been the one to just bite the bullet and apologize and forgive whenever there was even the tiniest argument. this time i didn't, and i should've. i told ana if she wants to patch things up, to talk to me, cause i'm not gonna lie, this blows. if not, then i'll move on like i've done countless times already.. whether i like it or not.

on the other hand, i finally got my car. i love it (: i can go places whenever i want, and i can do things whenever i'm bored.. it's definitely nice.
went to the frat on friday night, which was a good drunken time, as usual. got thrown up on, which sucked, but oh well. andy's got nice $70 sweatpants that he let me wear. thanks love (: the drive back sucked cause i didn't wanna leave. at all.
saturday night i chilled with kelli and blais, and then mike when he was out of work. didn't really do anything exciting but good company's always fun (:
blais still needs to do my navel..........
weekend was good, pretty much.
then school today and that was not so good. i'll deal.
i got a math quiz back - 90.
2 spanish one's - 100's.
college writing essay - A/A and a comment "this is one of the most well-written essays i've read in a long time"
Am. Lit. quiz - 100
Am. Lit. speech - 100
this year's turning out not so bad. i'm keeping up, and i'm really excited about that.

if anyone doesn't wanna read this, feel free to take me off your thingy. just let me know so i can remove you too.


friday, come now.
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04:47pm 17/09/2006

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went to hempfest in boston yesterday. i went last year and got really stoned. now i don't smoke, and still it was awesome. andy, kelli, mike and blais were amazing company (:
after hempfest, we got food. then we went to worcester and got a little messy. played asshole and i was asshole a whole lot. yeaa..

a few more pics..Collapse )
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09:13pm 11/09/2006

my life's boring.
working on a car. or my dad is. not working on it, but working on getting it. you know?
i cried so hard before cause i need to give away my mice ): what the fuuuuuck??! so fucking sad, and i hate it!
i wanna go get inked again. and i think i've DEFINITELY decided what to get next. i'm not gonna do it yet though. i need to wait a bit. maybe i'll go when ana's 18 and she can get hers too. or maybe a little before that. i dunno. i can't think.

i'm tired.
i'm cold.
i'm working tomorrow? sweet! moneys!
i need to go do psych homework.
like.. right now.

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11:08pm 10/09/2006

oh by the way. sirius satellite radio rules.
i like the british radio station, cause they play mad good music.
and i found a song that fits. something.
phi sigma kappa   
09:01pm 10/09/2006

sooo.. the party at the frat waaaaassss... pretty fucking sweet.
i got really drunk.
i got my boob grabbed by some asshole.
i danced. had some random guy named ed grind up against my ass and it creeped me out. walked away and found andy haha
heard some girl talk about how puke came out of her nose, and that made me wanna puke.
then after pretty much everyone left, i danced some more. by myself, with vneck, with andy.
did it. and it wasss... probably the best ever?
left my camera in andy's room sooo.. no pictures. i'm stupid sometimes /:

i wanna go again!
and i know what i want for my next tattoo!
and miami ink is on, yay!

school again tomorrow...

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10:04pm 07/09/2006

my last public entry was something about being on top of the world and that nothing could be better than that moment.

yea well i lied.
i feel better now that i'm out of it.
i can do what i want.
i can see who i want.
and i don't have to be lied to.

bring it on.

thinking about making all this stuff public from now on..

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